SHOULDS SHOULDN'T and SHOULDN'TS SHOULD

This bit of logic is a tool one can utilize which will lessen one’s stress according to Byron Katie the author of such books as LOVING WHAT IS and I NEED YOUR LOVE, IS THAT TRUE?

If what is happening, in your opinion, shouldn’t be happening then you’re in for a lot of grief because the reality is that it is happening and therefore it is perfectly right that it should be happening. Conversely, if what isn’t happening, in your opinion, should be happening then again you’re doomed to a period of discontent as long as it isn’t because if it isn’t happening reality is showing you that this is just what should be happening until it doesn’t.

Got that?

I love this way of reasoning because you can’t argue with reality. Well, I guess you can but you’ll be miserable and exhaust yourself in the process and become a champion of a world that doesn’t exist no matter how much you protest.

How does this play itself out in my own life?

Here’s a simple example: I am learning how to use my new computer.

Let’s take a moment now to celebrate the fact that I am now, not because of but despite months of whining (a big Ho’oponopono to all who had to listen to my agonizing deliberations on the matter) am the proud owner of a MacBook Pro 13” laptop – yeah!

In the process I’m stumbling through a mental obstacle course of my own construction regarding shoulds and shouldn’ts (another heartfelt Ho’oponopono to all - friends and strangers alike who are trying to assist me through this learning curve).

In switching over to the MAC world from the PC one I’m realizing that what works in one world doesn’t necessarily compute in the other. So, what does all my, “I should be able to do this” and those, “this shouldn’t work this way” get me? Just a whole lot of agro, that’s what.

I shouldn’t be able to do something until I can – even if I once could in an old system. And things will work the way they do because I am in this new world; it’s me that needs to adjust to this new reality.

Basically, what I’m meeting is BEGINNER MIND (an egoless state in which everything - even if you've done it a gazillion times - is treated as brand new; a state of I DON'T KNOW in which anything is possible). My ego, which is taking quite a bashing over all of this, just labels me as stupid; which is not true – stubborn and surprisingly resistant to adapting is a more accurate assessment. And, it’s O.K., even desirable to be a beginner even though (or perhaps because) it means tearing down all that I have known in order to move on to something new, which I have desired and actively pursued for a long time.

So…I should be able to post this now…

____________________________________________________________________OOOOHHHHHH, YEEEEESSSSS!!!!!

I should because I can! And life is great! (I'm such a slave to the ego.)

This is such a relief; I can't tell you. I haven't been posting all this time because I wouldn't let myself go back to the PC but finally the tension over not expressing myself on the blog was greater than the fear of diving into newness (and the risk experiencing that "stupid" feeling yet again).

So, now feeling smarter than I did when I started this post, I'll say good night.