Tuesday, March 30, 2010
I am experiencing technical difficulties. “Can not compute; can not compute Will Robinson.”
Every time I go into my blog the 2 entries – De-Queen of De-Clutter and Da agony of De Feet appear differently. Maybe it is offended by really, really bad use of grammar. At any rate, I realize that having no computer knowledge at all is a bit of a hindrance. My perfectionist nature and ego are taking an enormous beating which makes my blistered feet pale in comparison.
24K’s “Whatever is worth doing is worth doing well” keeps echoing in my brain but sometimes well is just as good as I can do now despite the glorious images floating around in my creative brain. The discrepancy between the 2 is almost physically painful; but I’m trying to remember my new mantra “I LOVE TO LEARN; I LOVE TO LEARN”.
So, this whole blog thing is really a learning experience. As I surf the blog sites of note I become inspired to do better. And, if I apply Byron Katie’s view of accepting reality then for now this is my version of doing well. It all helps to keep computer angst at bay which keeps me more open to discovering how this new world works. Sometimes you just have to be emptiness in order for new stuff to come in which means getting rid of more mind clutter.
This experiment is to enter this on the PC after creating a document on Microsoft word (because I can do spell and grammar check) and see how stable it is.
I created the last blog entry on the PC directly in the blog sites dashboard on cogeco.ca, (there’s another version of the blog floating around on blogger.com which got started when I blogged the first version of Many Hats) used the old editor to enter in the pics – all on left side, medium size oddly enough and what you see now is what I got.
It appears that some factors are causing difficulty for me:
- Posting on cogeco.ca vs blogger.com
- working on the Mac through Safari vs. working on the PC through Microsoft internet explorer.
- I don’t speak the language so getting on blogger help at this point is not helpful at all as I can find no matches for my problem and when I do get on there my day is shot and my frustration level skyrockets.
- using the old post editor vs. the new version for adding in pictures.
- entering pictures through scanner and camera wizard on the PC vs. whatever is used on the Mac (is it picassa or what?)
- am I accessing all this through Google or what – is accessing even the right term for how one gets into these applications – is application even the right word for what I’m trying to say?
You catch my drift?
You’ll have to if you venture in here as, until I get this sorted out some posts on my site may appear to have a mind of their own. Let’s just sit back and enjoy the ride, shall we?
Weird, as I’m trying to enter this blog post I keep getting “Server Error” messages.
Monday, March 29, 2010
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Eureka! I have no idea why this particular scan worked; I just know that it did. (SEE*)
My body's so tense right now from the agro that I can feel a cavern the size of the Grand Canyon forming between my eyebrows. Hopefully the satisfaction of finally having conquered this demon will wash over me and erode the furrows after I fall into bed and dreams of effortless future postings dance in my head.
This cartoon kept coming into my mind over the last few days, so I figured it needed to be put in the blog. As I reflected upon what was going on for me all those years ago I began to feel tremendous gratitude for finally having made my hobbies my profession. This cartoon shows what my situation was about 20 years ago. I was trying to find a "real" career (which meant trying to fit into something that I was not).
I soon gave that up and returned to what I love. What do they say? Do what you love and the money will come. Well, I don't know about that but I do know that satisfaction comes.
How amazing it is to be a "jack of all trades" in the healing field. This week I have been blessed to have people come to me for Shiatsu, Lomi, Hot Stone Relaxing Massage and Past Life Regression and I love it all. How grateful I am to have such wonderful teachers, mentors, peers and clients over the years. And, how fortunate I am to be able to keep on learning and honing my craft.
All the modalities that I do have finally blended in such a way that I can move from one to the other smoothly. I just have to remember which "hat" I'm wearing at the time.
So, if someone finds it out there can you please tell it to come home as it wasn't a bad little entry; I even have one fan on it, someone I don't know. It's like some kind of parallel universe. I was using Blogger and Picassa to get the scanned cartoon on to this site as all other efforts failed; it seemed to be working.
I've spent far too much time on this. It's almost 7:30p.m. and my stomach is growling and soon Rod will be too wondering what the heck I'm doing.
Will keep trying to sort this out. I just have to keep telling myself that this is all part of the learning process and reminding myself that I do love learning - I just want to be an expert at it.
I apologize for any spelling and grammar errors. I don't know yet how to check the document.
Monday, March 22, 2010
Just mucking about and not knowing what it does, I clicked on Photo Booth. BAM! There I was on the screen staring back at myself - it was a bit of a shock - didn't have time to prepare myself for what I was about to see. I preferred the pencil rendering to the photo style so this is what you see here. It sets a rather reflective tone, don't you think?
Rod said tonight, "just a few years ago we both said we'd never have cell phones or e-mail because we didn't want to be accessible 24/7. And now we can't even go a single day without using them. Who'd have thought that we'd have 2 cell phones and (as of a few weeks ago) 2 computers... and we've almost figured out how to use them!"
I'm amazed at how essential this technology has become personally and professionally. Many clients now make their appointments through e-mail. And, dare I say it, I'm actually getting to enjoy what this stuff can do.
Blogging has helped me so much. It motivates me to learn because I'm curious as to what I can do by experimenting. It's just me, the keyboard, my camera and my imagination. What can I do with all of this? I check out the work of others and am inspired by the work I see them producing.
The picture placement on my last post sucked so I am now trying out the new post editor; didn't realize that there even was a new version. My picture placement looked fine until I posted it and then it just got weird and so I consulted the help section of blogger and found out about the updated version.
Just yesterday morning, over a cup of coffee and a croissant at Pane Fresco, after a training walk in prep for Around the Bay, Candy told me to check out Julie's blog - A Really Good Yarn - (Julie owns The Needle Emporium in Ancaster). Candy, an avid reader and fan of knitting blogs, had seen some mention of picture placement in one of Julie's entries.
Wouldn't you know it, later that same day after a knitting session with Pam and Glyn, Pam and I decided to go to Julie's shop today to get some assistance with the Inside Outside Scarf that we thought would be so much "fun to do" but was instead causing us huge agro.
Fantastic! Today I was able to hit 2 birds with one stone getting not only knitting but blogging help too. Could a day be any better than that?
And, as you can also see, Flippy approves of the new computer. Here she is, last Friday, marking her territory rubbing her little saliva glands all over it. I tried to shove her away, but she was persistent.
As I took the picture I noticed Maya sitting patiently in the doorway. (Look really closely, she's to the left of Flip; you can see her silhouette against the green wall.) I lost track of time and, according to them, it was getting around dinner time. Maya (aka The Opportunist) was waiting for Flip to do her magic - bug the hell out of me until I give in to her demands.
Since the cats rule the household I was eventually forced to do their bidding otherwise I feared that the laptop would become a gooey mess, permanently anointed with kitty slobber. I'm still in the infatuation stage. I still store it in the box it came in and that's where it'll go now.
Good night...or rather, good grief I should say, "Good morning."
P.S. Thanks for the help Julie - it works great!
Friday, March 19, 2010
I’m running low on body lotions and shampoo. Naturally I want to go out and buy some more but lo and behold when I opened up my linen closet there they were stacks of toiletries: complimentary free samples received with the purchase of other items, tubes of partially used foot care products and most numerous of all - toiletries collected from hotels and motels over the years. Some, as you see in the basket on the left have been sitting "artfully" on top of the toilet - only they just look like clutter when you get down to it. The other basked I pulled out from the closet and there's still more in there. I just kept adding to the pile – so what better time to start using them than now. Actually, it’s kind of fun and makes me feel pampered using these gifts kindly provided by the hospitality industry. In a few more weeks I’ll need to replenish my stock either by purchasing more or going away for another weekend vacation.
UPDATE – JUGGLING CLUBS:
The back of my car no longer contains my juggling clubs - it took a lot of mind play to finally let them go. I kept remembering, with great fondness, the happy time around their purchase. Corny as it seems, Rod secured his first date with me using the pick up line “so, can you teach me how to juggle?” He got the idea when he saw me juggling for my future nephews and their parents; Rog (his brother) ask if I could teach his Beaver troop (Canadian version of the cub scouts, I think) to juggle. I agreed to take on both tasks. I had great success teaching the kids and Rod is finding that living with me is a constant juggling act.
But, the clubs needed to fly, not be relegated to being a decorative fixture in my house or ballast for my car. I dropped them off to the Burlington Re-use Centre and a few days later an 8-year old girl discovered them, begged and finally convinced her parents to buy them for her. Because, battered and scuffed as they were, she’d fallen in love with a dream. It was at that very moment that young, unfortunately named, Latisha LeFlamme’s life took a fateful turn from a pre-destined lifetime as a stripper working the seedy bars of Yonge street in Toronto to become the most popular headlining, juggling act of all time in Vegas. You can see her there in 2022. Can’t miss her billboard – she’s the one with flaming red hair, dressed in tails and black tights covering legs that seem to go on forever.
So knowing that Latisha is on track with her true destiny, due in no small part to me giving the clubs away, I breathe a sigh of relief.
I am facing my greatest fears and therefore ridding myself of mental clutter that creates resistance and keeps me from moving ahead. While working on the Mac the Time Machine was telling me that I needed to backup my files and was prompting me to do so. My finger hovered over the cancel option when I asked myself if not now, when? When will I be more willing to face this? NEVER! Not now and not ever. So I did.
A big Ho’oponopono to Derek the technical support guy who had to deal with me.
“I’m totally new to all of this. I mean I really, really don’t know a word that you’ll be saying to me. It is a like you’re going to be teaching me a new language… just warning you. O.K.?” And he was O.K. with it and it was O.K. too.
After something that went like this,
“No I’m sorry Derek. I know what you’re telling me but I don’t know what I’m supposed to be looking for.
If Time Machine will do it all for me do I really need this little box? …I do… it’s called a hard drive. O.K
I should see an icon of the hard drive on my desktop; ummm…what does it look like? Like a hard drive, oh you mean like the little box thingy. O.K. ... nope, nothing… And, my desktop is what exactly?
I need to turn it on? I thought it was on. No, it doesn’t have any lights or buttons…Oh wait, that thing, is that a button? They hide it really well don’t they?
Oh, is that what that’s for? Wait, wait I heard it. I think its working. Yup, there it goes. Oh, and there’s the icon too…"
Poor Derek. But I can hear the smile in his voice as he tells me they pay him well for what he does. I’m happy for him.
Actually, my fear is less about facing the computer stuff than it is about facing, or rather not facing, someone and being asked to follow directions. Talking to a disembodied voice feels somewhat like talking to a God-like all-powerful figure. I feel so insignificant and helpless; there’s no one to turn to when it’s just me and the person at the other end of the phone, but I’m learning that they hang in there and hash it out with me through thick or thin. Though I imagine it many times during our conversation, I’ve yet to have someone say “you’re hopeless” and hang up the phone. It's like they're saying, "we're all in there together," and I find this hugely reassuring.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
If what is happening, in your opinion, shouldn’t be happening then you’re in for a lot of grief because the reality is that it is happening and therefore it is perfectly right that it should be happening. Conversely, if what isn’t happening, in your opinion, should be happening then again you’re doomed to a period of discontent as long as it isn’t because if it isn’t happening reality is showing you that this is just what should be happening until it doesn’t.
I love this way of reasoning because you can’t argue with reality. Well, I guess you can but you’ll be miserable and exhaust yourself in the process and become a champion of a world that doesn’t exist no matter how much you protest.
How does this play itself out in my own life?
Here’s a simple example: I am learning how to use my new computer.
Let’s take a moment now to celebrate the fact that I am now, not because of but despite months of whining (a big Ho’oponopono to all who had to listen to my agonizing deliberations on the matter) am the proud owner of a MacBook Pro 13” laptop – yeah!
In the process I’m stumbling through a mental obstacle course of my own construction regarding shoulds and shouldn’ts (another heartfelt Ho’oponopono to all - friends and strangers alike who are trying to assist me through this learning curve).
In switching over to the MAC world from the PC one I’m realizing that what works in one world doesn’t necessarily compute in the other. So, what does all my, “I should be able to do this” and those, “this shouldn’t work this way” get me? Just a whole lot of agro, that’s what.
I shouldn’t be able to do something until I can – even if I once could in an old system. And things will work the way they do because I am in this new world; it’s me that needs to adjust to this new reality.
Basically, what I’m meeting is BEGINNER MIND (an egoless state in which everything - even if you've done it a gazillion times - is treated as brand new; a state of I DON'T KNOW in which anything is possible). My ego, which is taking quite a bashing over all of this, just labels me as stupid; which is not true – stubborn and surprisingly resistant to adapting is a more accurate assessment. And, it’s O.K., even desirable to be a beginner even though (or perhaps because) it means tearing down all that I have known in order to move on to something new, which I have desired and actively pursued for a long time.
So…I should be able to post this now…
I should because I can! And life is great! (I'm such a slave to the ego.)
This is such a relief; I can't tell you. I haven't been posting all this time because I wouldn't let myself go back to the PC but finally the tension over not expressing myself on the blog was greater than the fear of diving into newness (and the risk experiencing that "stupid" feeling yet again).
So, now feeling smarter than I did when I started this post, I'll say good night.
Thursday, March 4, 2010
There is no need to meet me at the finish line, believe me it’ll be a zoo. Last year I tried to meet my sister Candy there and exit 100 which merges onto Kings Hwy 403 and leads to York Blvd. was blocked! For those of you who don’t know, Hamilton, to anyone from the north side of Lake Ontario is what I imagine it’s like going to Australia – everything’s upside down and backwards. I ended up having a scenic tour of the beautiful city of Hamilton via its many one way streets.
Not only that, but if the odds work out, weather on race day most likely will be like it is Halloween night – cold, rainy and windy. I’ll be wearing my walking costume and instead of trick or treating I’ll be fundraising. So, let’s warm the cockles of our hearts and help the thermometer climb.
Flip and I and all those who will use the services of St. Joseph's thank you for your help and encouragement!
Monday, March 1, 2010
The announcer declared as the team piled out on to the ice towards Sidney Crosby and Roberto Luongo. The sea of red and white in the stands became The Big Storm howling with deafening elation. Could truer words have been spoken?
What a game. As the clock ticked down the third period I was all prepared for the victory celebration, the crowd going wild, the elation that would pile out onto the streets; our red Canadian maple leaf mittens thrust thumbs up into the air, declaring “We are number one.” “Hockey is Canada’s game.” “We own it.” But memories of my father’s voice, full of mischievousness, kept cautioning me, “It’s not over till it’s over.”
How many Stanley Cup games had I shared with Dad and Mom, Uncle Lou and Aunt Helen (the Myers - relatives by choice) my brothers, sisters and an assortment of the Myers’ own 9 brood, our honorary cousins? Memories and emotions of those nights flooded back and though none of these people were present last night they might as well have been. Our little family room, inhabited by only Rod, me and Flippy was crowded and filled with the electric excitement of the past.
And then…the American player, Zach Parise, got that goal with only 25 seconds to go in the third period. Aarrgh, the agony of it all! It was going to have to go into another 20 minute period. Dad would have loved it! “A game should be close and well fought. You don’t want them to just walk away with it, what fun is that.”
My mind and emotions were flipping around all over the place. Oh God, how disappointing will it be if the US team wins (all relative of course – it would be disappointing for Canadians, not Americans). What if it goes to a shoot out? God I hate that – what a waste of all that great hockey and effort for it to come down to one guy and one goalie. If we win this we will have the most gold ever in the history of the Olympics…Canada of all countries (Canadians, stereotypically tend to be a modest, humble, polite breed. It’s acceptable for us to be good, but the best? That could challenge our concept of ourselves.)
Can I bear the intensity? Can I watch this, I asked myself. Of course whether we won or lost I would, I could, I had to. This is delicious anxiety, the kind that makes you want to ride that roller coaster and when it’s all over do it again.
And, how fitting was it that, 8 minutes into the over-time period, Cole Harbour’s Sidney Crosby scored the winning goal. The growing consensus of sports announcers across the country was that his accomplishments during these games were falling well short of expectations. And then he pulls this off. Good for him!
So there it was the puck went in and the crowd went wild…and I’m sitting there stunned in delayed reaction mode…HELLO… THE FIRST TEAM TO SCORE WINS they don’t have to play the whole 20 minutes.
The realization hit and I went nuts, yelling and throwing up my arms in victory and Flip, who moments before lay sleeping on the back of the couch by my head, flew from the back of the couch and tore out of the room.
I know, I know, in the scheme of things how important is all of this with wars and catastrophes going on in the world. But this too is life. For a moment I could let go of all the concerns, worries and sense of isolation and along with my fellow countrymen/women shout a collective hurrah for “my/our team”.
And now back to reality. Cinderella-like after the clock has struck midnight the world is doing what it does, winter grey has set in for another few weeks and all is as it is once more.