Who Do You Think You Are?

©Nance Thacker 1990

"List 3 words to describe who you are, the kind of person you are; positive attributes." I said with eager enthusiasm.
I looked around the room at the Memorial Camp last weekend and saw that my simple request was being greeted with far less than an enthusiastic response. Some people closed their eyes and heaved a sigh. Others squirmed in their seats. The silence was deafening. Stillness followed, as if I'd caught a herd of deer in my headlights. No one was forthcoming so I chose the first person on my left to jump in.
"I think I'm..." he began.
I put up my hand and stopped him before he could continue. This was IT, I could see that many were having great difficulty acknowledging and owning their positive characteristics. Their reserve was made worse by having to declare it aloud.
"If I had asked you all to list 3 negative things about yourself. You could come up with them very easily and probably have more in reserve. Right?"
Nods all around.

And so I gave them this task which I'll ask you to do as you read this.

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Don't tell me what attributes you think you have. Remember a time when you acted in an admirable manner or you felt really, really good about yourself. What did that feel like? How did you feel about yourself? What qualities where you showing at that time? Tell me about those.

What qualities would you like to have? Maybe you don't have them right now or maybe you have their negative flip side but would like to develop the positive quality in the future. State them aloud as if you already have them. We don't know whether you have them or not, but we'll take your word for it. Mix in up a bit, those you already have with those you'd like to have. We don't know the difference.

Our body/mind, like the audience in the workshop, responds to our self-talk in the same way. It doesn't know the difference between something "real" or "imagined" but accepts a statement about ourselves (negative or positive) as if it were TRUTH.

If you can feel a quality in your body, it is familiar to you. It is familiar because you have possessed it at one time or another. So, though you may embrace the negative aspect as being who you are, if you can, even for a minute, bask in its opposite it is a resource within you and with cultivation can become your truth.

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So then I asked them, "IN THE FULLNESS OF ALL THAT YOU CAN BE, WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? Imagine it, take it into every cell, declare it and bring the future into the present with your actions."

The room resounded with the joy, laughter and light as the positive declarations were stated aloud and released out into the room so that their vibrations could be supported by the dreaming that followed.

Channelling Angelina

This pic appeared in Cristina's Blog
pictures via: celebrity-gossip.net/justjared.buzznet.com

Angelina Jolie, she of the pillowy, ruby red matte lips and catlike sweep of eyeliner at the Golden Globes 2012 stands regally overseeing her domain. The red slash blazoned across her collarbones, skims her left shoulder and then disappears into the white fabric wrapping around her torso and under her right arm adding a swanlike length to her neck. There can be no mistake who's in charge at this event nor in my dream of Friday night.

However in my dream, after a day of hard work alongside others in the fields and schools she stands hair-tousled in the drab, dusty brown garb of a soldier. Only her regal bearing reveals who she really is. She surveys the scene as all hurry about her organizing the troops for her inspection because SHE HAS ARRIVED.

What a contrast to the Angie of her early days rife with rebellious, distasteful images: Billy Bob Thornton's blood in a vial on a chain hanging around her neck, the steamy hot kiss shared with her brother at the 2000 Oscars, the home wrecker who stole the heart of the husband of America's sweetheart.

Action hero, adopted Mom of 3, birth mother to 3 more (a set of twins included) who tows her international brood around the world for work and education, movie star with clout, actress, director, humanitarian spokesperson and benefactor paired with another godlike yet down to earth alpha being.

Whether the "real life"Angelina knows or cares who she was, how she was perceived and how far she's come matters little to me. What matters is how I feel slipping into the role of the dream Angelina. I'm pleased with who I've become and my strength. I've discovered who I really am. I've dropped away all the games and roles. Be myself, follow where my heart leads and others will be inspired to support the work and do the same for themselves.

The action for the day...channel Angelina.

Greet the day from "her" vantage point. How does it feel? Does it change my actions and reactions? Will I be blessed with a new point of view; more optimism and self-confidence?

It's perhaps not surprising that this is also a technique sometimes used in hypnosis to help you reach your goals. Become who you want to become, or at least discover who you admire or who inspires you. By mimicking how it "feels" you are on your way. Walk around in their skin to find out how they got there and what it takes for them to continue being who they are. Back up this "fake it to make it" route with research, work and effort in order to achieve your goals. And use the feeling SHE HAS ARRIVED to inspire you on your way.

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"REAL LIFE" SYNCHRONICITY:

The next morning (Sat) still working on "Angelinafying" myself.
Saturday morning - I send out an e-mail to a friend/fellow therapist confirming my appointment with her.
Saturday night - I receive an e-mail from her that starts...
Alpha Nance...
Sunday morning - I respond...
LMAO re: the alpha comment. She has no idea about this dream or my adventures in being the very "ALPHA" Algelina Jolie.
Sunday night - She responds.
This was a spell check error on the part of my i-phone. I typed in Aloha Nance and it got changed to Alpha Nance.

I love it! At least part of the universe got my message. I think I've still got a lot more work to do.

I wish I may I wish I might...

Warrior Pose II
neither pulled towards the future
nor weighted down by the past
equilibrium is found in the present moment

I haven't blogged for a while. Mom's death has severed the living ties to my parents (Dad died in 2002) and life has, for the time being, become a bit of an introverted journey of self-exploration. Who am I now? Who do I want to become? What do I want to do with my life? What and who do I love? How do I want to live my life now? Robert Moss contends that if you don't define yourself others will do it for you. What definitions have I embraced? Do they still apply? Did they ever? Sounds pretty heavy but really, it's liberating and has led to clutter clearing on all levels: physically, mentally, emotionally, psychically and spiritually.

More of that later, what prompts this blog is an e-mail I received recently from a client who hasn't been successful in getting rid of excess weight despite having attended a series of 6 one-on-one sessions for a weight management a few years back.

Here's the gist of it:
Why can't hypnosis for weight loss be done in a 1 shot session like I do for smoking cessation? Why can't I just implant a negative association to help someone abstain from "forbidden" foods and be done with it? It worked for a friend of mine and she lost X number of pounds and she's still kept it off. When she feels tempted she just goes back for a little top up. I think stress management would be helpful, but only if it's done in one session not if it's based on self-hypnosis as that doesn't work for me.

A few things jump out at me:

• unlike smoking, one needs to eat and faces temptation a few times every day
• smoking is a non-essential activity that is always detrimental to one's health
• what new "forbiddens" will take the place of the old ones
• hypnosis does strengthen resolve and makes things easier, and ACTION is a part of the process, action needs to be taken to re-inforce the suggestion and set up a positive feedback loop
• over time weight balancing becomes second nature and a lifestyle choice
• stress accumulates unless we address it every day, it's not the stressor that's our problem, it's our attitude towards it

I battled with anorexia in my teens. If anyone should know about aversion to food and how to induce it, it should be me. The truth is, people experiencing anorexia are consumed by food 24/7 to the exclusion of everything else - there is no joy in the life of an anorexic, only the constant companions of fear of failure and self-loathing.

I lost 30 lbs by eating the bare minimum to survive and, when I came to my senses I gained most of it back. I have maintained a healthy weight for 40 years through conscious eating and a commitment to health and living consciously.

There is no magic pill to make our demons all go away. One must commit to a daily process of: self-awareness and self-honesty; discovering one's self inside-out; taking ownership of the body we inhabit and taking responsibility for our actions - no excuses allowed. We must learn to ride the emotional roller coaster of life without resorting to food for comfort or punishment and choose to eat consciously. It takes nothing less than healing our relationship with ourselves and with food to arrive at the weight that is right for "me".

The pain my client was feeling leaked between the lines she'd written. She just wants one shot, no self-hypnosis. Self-hypnosis doesn't work for her. Yet she is an intelligent, accomplished professional. How did she get through the years of training, focus and determination it took to get where she is today? All hypnosis is essentially self-hypnosis and is re-inforced by the messages we tell ourselves every day. Our self-talk either propels us in the right direction or leads to self-sabatogue. As a former anorexic I know that our mind can be a battleground where our inner cheerleader and our inner critic wage a war for dominance over our thoughts and emotions. Which do you support with your attention? The one that receives the most attention grows the strongest.

Anything we accomplish begins with a spark of inspiration and a dreaming of what could be. When it comes to weight issues we imagine how wonderful our lives will be, how successful and desirable we will become when we have lost the weight. All our problems will vanish in an instant. I wish this were true. Fact is, we need to find the wonderful life that is available to us now as we make our journey through weight loss (or anything else); we need to engage in life, take risks, experience failure and success. We need to fall down, get up and reset our course again and again if necessary.

I've been impressed by the Canadian Series X-WEIGHTED for it's inspiring and eye-opening stories centring around young people and their families learning to live healthier lives while losing weight. I encourage anyone dealing with weight issues to check it out, especially if you are concerned about passing these issues on to your children. If you are making poor food choices for yourself you are making poor ones for your kids too. Your actions set the example for your children to follow - what are they learning from you?

To find out more about my struggle with anorexia and how yoga transformed my life check out STORIES FROM THE YOGIC HEART available at many yoga centres, book stores, AKASHA'S DEN in Oakville, Ontario and coming soon to a ROOTS store near you!

OUR DESIRE (to commit to our goal) NEEDS TO BE STRONGER THAN OUR RESISTANCE.

So, here's the first step regarding forbidden foods:

DON'T BUY THEM OR HAVE THEM IN THE HOUSE; NOT FOR YOURSELF AND ESPECIALLY NOT FOR YOUR KIDS.

Secondly, ask yourself, in your moments of temptation:

WHO IS IN CHARGE OF YOUR LIFE?

The 17 "R's" of Hypnosis

The 17 "R's" of hypnosis are:

reflect
rapport
release
reveal
real
revise
relax
receptive
repetition
reinforce
recognize
reward
realize
restore
reclaim
refresh
re-energize

What compels one to try hypnosis or self-hypnosis is the desire for change. We REFLECT on our life and become aware that we want something to be different which leads to more reflection until we establish what specifically we want and perhaps how to get there.

How will my life be affected when I achieve my goal? As a hypnotist we talk about the importance of establishing RAPPORT with clients, a feeling that we are in sync with each other, that we speak the same language and most importantly that they feel safe entrusting me with their very deepest aspirations. But, rapport also has to be established between you and your goal. Can you believe that it is doable? What are some possible consequences that go along with achieving your goal - positive and negative? At that point imagine that you have reached your goal; feel into it. How does it feel? Are negative feelings blocking its achievement? Upon further investigation do the cons outweigh the pros in the long run?

As we work through this stage we RELEASE a lot of stuff that is no longer necessary: old outdated concepts about ourself, misconceptions and misinformation. Sometimes even the initial goal needs to be released and REVISED. I had one teacher who said that when people tell you what brings them to hypnosis they are lying. It is a shocking, but true statement. We think we know what our goals are, but through inquiry and investigation often a shift in awareness is made in which we REVEAL the REAL goal hereto fore unimagined which can be a profound, empowering and life-transforming event.

Once our goals are revised, through the hypnosis process we enlist the power of suggestion, a RELAXED RECEPTIVE REPETITION of statements that succinctly incorporate all that we desire. Though one doesn't have to be relaxed in order for hypnosis to work, it helps. A beneficial side-effect of the practice of self-hypnosis is that through repetition of positive visualizations one becomes more relaxed and more receptive to the implantation of the suggestion in the subconscious mind. Attaining our goals become easier.

We REINFORCE the suggestion each time we repeat it through self-hypnosis and each time its impact plays out in our life. As we RECOGNIZE each little success (and it is often the little successes along the way that build to the biggie) that in itself is part of the REWARD and since we are motivated by the rewards of this practice a self-perpetuating cycle is set in place as confidence is gained.

As each goal is REALIZED we RESTORE ourself to all that we can be and RECLAIM happiness and enjoyment of our life. Simply put we feel REFRESHED and RE-ENERGIZED. 

And then it all begins anew.
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FOR MORE POSTS ON HYPNOSIS AND SELF-HYPNOSIS see: hypnosis and self-hypnosis

CHECK OUT DAILY TWEETS AT AWAKENING CHOICE HYPNOSIS

Face Book "Friend"

The Dalai Lama Is a friend of mine.

Yes, you heard that right.

Actually, he's a Face Book "friend" of mine. I'm very selective as to who I allow to connect with me on FB. OK, he actually didn't ask me to be his friend but that's beside the point. Anyway...I don't play the numerous games that seem to have captured friends imaginations and I have become a FAN of exactly 2 things: Betty Blogger and Stories from the Yogic Heart. The former because it was part of a homework exercise for Betty Blogger's course and the latter because, even though my story is in it, it is a really inspiring book. I check out FB to see how my friends are doing and see the photos that they post.

It's so cool to go on to FB and see the Dalai Lama's lovely face smiling out at me announcing his entry. His latest entry was a timely one that appeared on Wed Jan 5th (entered at 5:25 in the morning no less; only THE Dalai Lama would be Face Booking at 5:25 a.m.) titled COUNTERING STRESS AND DEPRESSION. It was written on Dec 31/10 and published in the Hindustan Times, India, on Jan 3/11.

One of the many things about the article that gives me hope is his assertion that, "So long as we remember that we have this marvellous gift of human intelligence and a capacity to develop determination and use it in positive ways, we will preserve our underlying mental health."

He lost his freedom at 16, his country at 24 and has lived in exile for more than 50 years. Despite the heartbreaking news he hears from his homeland he still doesn't give up. What helps him is to cultivate the thought that (summarizing here):

• If the situation/problem can be remedied there is no need to waste your energy in worry or letting yourself become overwhelmed by it, rather spend it on seeking its solution.
• If there is no possibility for a solution or resolution; you can't do anything about it. "The sooner you accept this fact, the easier it will be for you."

But, before you can discern whether or not there is a resolution you have to:

• confront the problem
• take a realistic view

There is a famous quote that goes something like this "I've been through some really bad times in my life, a few of them actually happened." This comes to mind because more often than not it's not the actual event that causes pain but the stories we tell ourselves about it which create disturbing emotions, thoughts and mental events.

The first problem we need to confront is our compounding negative thought processes around the problem itself. Clearing the mental clutter around the problem allows for a clear, realistic view and enables us to confront the actual issue. We just have to:

Maya peeking out 

• keep on clearing out the negativities 
• while cultivating gratitude 
• and concern for others 
• and turn adversity into advantage

He believes that: 

• the mind can be transformed
• we can overcome disturbing emotions 
• and achieve a sense of inner peace

Thanks so much to the Dalai Lama for this inspiring entry!

Namaste 

Nance

You might also be interested in checking out AwakeningChoice on Twitter.

Mind Training in action

Cartoon copyright Nance Thacker 1991.
Click on image to enlarge

I have done yoga since I was 16. I've lead and presently lead and teach classes and workshops in: relaxation, stress management, meditation and hypnosis.  You'd think by now I'd be perfect...ha! This is definitely not the case as I have a particularly challenging mind and nervous system that seems drawn to bouts of depression and anxiety like a moth to a flame. And, this is precisely what makes me a good teacher. I know whereof I speak.

I observed the latest bout coming on through my TWEETS. It started subtly enough. A little awareness dawned on Dec 6th that my mind was becoming pretty busy with conflicting thoughts along with their attendant emotions. Envy followed around the 12th accompanied by that familiar feeling of self-loathing and the little voice that worms its way into my mind repeating variations on a theme: "you SHOULD: be better than you are, be more than you are, have accomplished more that you have". When these dominate I become lost in all of this S**T.

As I reclaim myself on the 14th and 15th I witness and become aware of worry, anger and other "negative" thoughts bubbling up and am able to catch the "inkling" before they develop further.

But somehow the scales tip and these negativities begin to take root, playing over and over. Samskaras (in western terms neural pathways) become entrenched in my brain; becoming my automatic default response to life. This vulnerable position ignites the "fight or flight response". I become spun, loose my centre, become hyper sensitive to the actions and emotions of my significant other and scramble in an effort to please others because I am so "beside myself" that I cannot please myself.

Without a centre no action "feels" authentic, my body, fuelled by the stress response, feels foreign. With no place to anchor me, action is without backbone, ineffective, inefficient; results are predictably erratic, unsatisfactory and sometimes chaotic and the world around me reflects my inner state.

In this state I am more susceptible to the judgements of others. In the heat of the moment tempers flare, arguments ensue, harsh words, that can never be taken back, are spoken. Arguments take on monumental proportions, consequences loom heavily in my mind as it goes into the deepest and darkest places as happened from the 19th to the 26th. Turbulent emotions rule and peak on the 28th when something commands me to STOP & BREATHE. 

In that most charged of moments I connect with calm. This is magical effect of mind training in action.

With the calm comes awareness that it is time for me to pull out, stop being the witness. I know this territory well enough. Take charge of my mind, shift focus and consciously apply mind training.

By the 31st I still feel emotions coursing through my body but my yoga asana practice delivers awareness of the still pond that resides within and it now extends beyond my time on my mat.

It is timely that I start anew with the New Year in bringing my mind training skills into practice. I don't allow the negative tapes to run. Evening mantra practice, replaces the "inner critic" and settles me into the receptive hypnogogic state where implantation is optimal. Negative self-judgment is countered by logical inquiry or silent mantra practice. Yoga practice and walking keep energy flowing evenly and discharge daily accumulated tension. I set the alarm 45 minutes before I have to get up, time in which to briefly scan my dreams and then BLAST MYSELF WITH POSITIVE SUGGESTIONS over and over during this especially receptive hypnopompic state.

I know the bout will return again. But, I also know that the calm, quiet centre resides within, all I need to do is breathe and feel the peace and tranquility.

For the New Year I wish you find access to that calm, quiet centre within.

TO BE OR NOT TO BE

A friend agitatedly blurted out that she had difficulty with the concept of "choice".  I realized that I had used the word "choice" quite a bit during our conversation. Obviously since the word is included in the name of my hypnosis business AWAKENING CHOICE (which is also the name of this blog), the concept of choice is a biggie for me.

Though she expressed a desire to change her life, my friend was depressed, stuck, lacking in the energy and motivation needed to initiate action of any kind in order to change her situation. Though our situations differ, I too have felt like her; probably many of you have too. Energy suckers such as (and please feel free to add your personal faves): inertia, self-doubt, regret or longing for the past, holding on to past dramas or traumas, fear or a sense of hopelessness about the future, clinging to labels assigned to one's self by self or others, peer pressure to remain within defined confines, what will others think, who do you think you are, leave one feeling like a powerless victim.

When we have been a "victim" of a crime or a vicious act the responses listed above are amplified, seem insurmountable and the challenges appear far greater. The reality is that the human spirit is resilient. We've all witnessed inspiring examples of resilience. If one person can rise above such a situation so can we all. We have the capacity to heal ourselves and our relationships. Living in a human body subjects us to challenges, illness and loss during our life and guarantees that we will die but suffering is optional — just ask the Dali Lama.

What she couldn't see is that we make choices (consciously or unconsciously) every second of every day. When we say that we don't have choice we're really saying that we aren't conscious of the act of choosing, because we actually are choosing at every moment. Don't believe me? You are right now choosing whether to continue reading this post or to do something else.

When we become more consciously aware of our thoughts, feelings, emotions, beliefs, and sensations we are living in the present moment and the presence of choice becomes more evident. In this moment there is no past, no her/his story; in this moment there is no future. Without our story, life is full of potential.

When I begin to realize that I have the resources within me to enable me to choose a different action, feeling or belief, no matter how small, that opens up unforeseen possibilities and sets the stage for transformation. The moment I exercise that option it is like a droplet sending ripples through the stagnant pond which my life has become. These ripples become waves of change in relationship within and ultimately between me and the people and world in which I live. This reality can be pretty daunting and can stall me before I begin. It may feel easier to stay in the status quo, after all what choice do I have? 

In accepting the concept of choice I take responsibility for my actions, their consequences and my life.
Each time I consciously exercise my ability to choose I am actively participating and engaged in life. I become energized. Struggles become transformed into challenges. I recapture my love of life, see it as precious and realize that I am entitled to be happy and enjoy it; and gratitude flows.

For me the ultimate belief about choice is that we are all in this together, a consciousness evolving that has chosen to experience this earthly existence through many, many lives and lifetimes. We are all one.

CAR, BALL, MAN

I'm warning you now.

Read the words in the title and commit them to memory because somewhere down the road, maybe 20, 30, 40 or perhaps 50 years from now, you will be sitting across a table from someone who, almost immediately, upon meeting you, will tell you to remember those 3 little words. You will feel nervous, confused, insulted, patronized and perhaps experience something akin to "performance anxiety" as they then proceed to run you through various mental challenges. About 5 minutes after you are stirred up enough they will then ask you what the words were that they gave you to remember. And despite the increased intensity of emotion, self-doubt and confusion the words will bubble up from your long term memory and you will be able to say calmly, "car, ball, man". The thing is they will assume that these words are new to you and that you have stored them in your short term memory and you will have passed this portion of the test.

Just giving you a heads up.

OK, it might not play out exactly like this but after hearing those words first repeated in 1998 and every year thereafter at each of my parents' cognitive assessment evaluations, I can assure you that they are etched in my brain. Every time I accompanied my folks for "their" assessment all I could think was, please don't change the 3 words because I am so primed to remember them that they will block out any new incoming ones. I bet ya that almost everyone who's accompanied their parent or loved one to a geriatric assessment from this particular team has these three words burned into their brains too.

This all leads me to these observations about memory retention.


When trying to remember something state it - short, simple and to the point. Let's say I have to remember a grocery list consisting of: milk, bread and cheese. There is no need for me to say, "remember to get milk, bread and cheese". Because I am anxious about my ability to remember, using the word "remember" (in this context) triggers my belief that I have a bad memory and that I'm going to have difficulty remembering. Feeling that I won't be able to remember the list; I become anxious.

ANXIETY IS A MEMORY KILLER!

Cartoon copyright Nance Thacker 1991.
Click on image to enlarge

To embed this kind of memory it is best to feel relaxed and happy. So:

• My memory prompt is SIMPLE: "milk, bread, cheese". 
• I  REPEAT these words at least 3 times while tapping my watch (Since I am inclined to look at my watch numerous times before going to the store, each time I do it is a visual prompt for memory. In hypnosis we call this anchoring). 
• Each time, while repeating and tapping I VISUALIZE: the items (perhaps getting really specific about the images) and me picking up the items and paying for them at the checkout (this takes only a few seconds). 
• And, I FEEL how good it feels to have accomplished the task.

Now I just have to remember where I parked my car!

The key for this - I have to be MINDFUL of parking it in the first place. I liken it to getting out of "passenger" mode. It is less likely that, as a passenger, I will remember where the car was parked because I tend to rely on the driver to do this. So I have to shift to "driver" mode and note my surroundings. Since I can be an easily distractible, multi-tasker, mindfulness is something I have to come back to constantly. I call this "applied meditation" practice.

Since, in the scenario I have just described, I have a vested interest in the things I want to remember I am more motivated to recall these things. In the case of my grocery list - these items will allow me to make a meal and that makes me feel good.  And since I'd rather not wait til the parking lot is sufficiently emptied before I can find my car I'm highly motivated to take note where it was parked in the first place.

In contrast, "car, ball, man" meant nothing to my poor parents who were full of anxiety at the time of their assessment.  And, when the time comes, it will mean nothing to you too. So practice those 3 words now.

There will be a test!

COMMENT ON THE CARTOON. I'm not proud to admit this but, unlike some people, I will pick out the longest line at the checkout so that I can browse the "brain candy" mags. And I often memorize where I left off for the next visit to the grocery store.

No "ums"

The night before leaving for beautiful Vancouver Island I was sitting cross-legged on a stool at CJ's Cafe in Burlington, reciting my poem ODE TO A YO-GI. This was no small feat and I'm not talking about my precarious perch - that's a piece of cake (I'm sitting this way on a stool as I write my blog). I'm talking about public speaking.

In public school every year from about grade 5 to 8 we had to write and give a 5 minute speech. My older sister excelled at this task and the unspoken expectation from my teachers was that I would too. But this wasn't the case. Being shy, short and feeling out of place in my pleated skirt that hiked geezer-like above my waist and knee socks that rolled down at my ankles, I decided to stand behind the lectern. As I spoke, for what was at that time the longest 5 minutes in my life, soft sounds of someone counting in the background could be heard.

"25...26...27..."

My teacher grinned all the while I must be doing pretty good. And at the end he applauded... and then broke into gales of laughter. "That was the funniest thing I've ever heard". (My topic, an informative presentation on Mario Lanza, my Dad's favourite singer of the moment, was, I assure you very earnest and without any hint of humour.) "You said 105 um's (he looked at the boy who was counting them for confirmation) in a 5 minute speech. Not only that, we couldn't even see you."

I was mortified, I'm NEVER doing this s**t again I vowed as slunk back to my front row seat.

I was told, in high school by my English teacher to stop talking once, "I find your voice extremely irritating" was all he said. I shut up for the remainder of the school year.

This from people in a position who should know better!
It's enough to give someone a complex.

Yet here I am, someone who's been a yoga teacher for the past 34 years; a hypnotist for 3. Somewhere along the line I was able to let these experiences go. Amazingly to me, people ask me to record hypnosis sessions for their use and often I've been told that guided relaxation is the favourite part of a yoga class...because of my voice.

It wasn't a conscious thing, it just happened.

When I found myself sitting under the glare of the spotlight that night a brief shiver of foreboding, remembrance ran down my spine. But, I had practiced for this moment over and over in my mind as I drove the car, went to sleep, showered; I spoke it aloud to establish points of emphasis; I imagined sitting in front of a hushed crowd listening to my flawless recitation. All pure SELF-HYPNOSIS 101 techniques for conquering stage fright.

What I didn't account for was laughter (this time welcomed) nor for the cloak of darkness the spotlight illuminating me, cast over the crowd, cocooning me and lending the moment an unexpected feeling of intimacy.

Best of all, there were no "ums" in my recitation of the poem nor in the other selections that I read that night and no one counted in the background.

Thanks Brian and CJ for the opportunity to give it another shot after all these years.

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BRIAN POSTED ODE TO A YO-GI (and added some nice pics) IN HIS BLOG QUICK BROWN FOX

BRAINSTORM - the power of words

Continuing on from my previous post WHAT DO YOU WANT?

My teacher Swami Radha used to say that the way we use our words forms our reality.

Using hypnosis and self-hypnosis to achieve goals involves: goal setting, imagining, brainstorming, listening, reflection, restating goals from insights gained, taking stepwise action and reward (sometimes the action or the results are the reward).

In reality these are artificial divisions, aspects that shift and weave during an ongoing process of self evolution. Having said that, I believe it may prove helpful to explore the nuances contained in each aspect.

Brainstorming involves fact finding through questioning and listening to the words that we say and becoming aware of our body/mind responses to these messages.

This process develops clarity around the behavioural, thought and emotional patterns surrounding our challenge. Ask yourself questions and get specific about the answers; let the answer initiate more in depth questioning. Probe like DRAGNET’S Joe Friday – “just the facts ma’am” but with a little more warmth. Question like an insatiably curious innocent child whose response to any answer you give will always be “why?” or “why not?” Since we know the ultimate answer to why is “because”, phrase your questions in terms of: how, when, where or who to give yourself something to work with.

Taking a hypothetical example of a woman who wants to get rid of 20 lbs of excess weight let’s explore one of many goal setting questions – “What keeps you from achieving your ideal weight right now?”

Her answer is, “I have an uncontrollable urge to eat excessively at 3 p.m.”
What do you mean by this statement? Is there someone or some situation forcing you to eat? What do you mean uncontrollable? Are you aware as you are eating that you are eating excessively? When does this awareness kick in? Could you choose to stop once you become aware? What’s going on physically, mentally, emotionally around that time within and around you? How do you feel in your body at this time? What are you thinking about yourself or your situation as you feel the uncontrollable urge? Can you not physically remove yourself from the situation – what would happen if you did? What would happen if you didn’t eat? Is your initial assessment of the situation an exaggeration? And so on.

Seek more clarity regarding your challenge. Listen to yourself speak, to the words you choose. Observe emotional reactions, resistance to change, uncomfortable physical feelings as you answer goal setting questions – note these and move on to other goal setting questions to get an overview.

Most importantly, give yourself space between discoveries to allow new perspectives, awareness and possible solutions to surface. As you listen through the nonjudgmental wisdom of your body/mind you will be aware of a “feeling sense” about your answers. When there is clarity and authenticity there is a feeling of a grounded calmness and a “knowing” - that aha or light bulb moment.

As you become clearer rephrase your statement to more accurately reflect your new awareness of the situation. Using our example, “I have an uncontrollable urge to eat excessively at 3 p.m.” our new statement is filled with accurate information and contains the seeds of ideas for change.

“At 3 p.m. I feel extremely drowsy after sitting at my desk all day. I work in a high powered environment. We all eat our lunches at our desks. I can’t just lie down and relax for a few minutes as I don’t think that that would be acceptable at work. So since I need an energy boost I get a few cookies, which leads to more cookies and a cup of coffee. I realize maybe I’m dehydrated, that maybe I need to drink more water, but I think then I’ll have to pee all of the time. I commute an hour each way to work. When I get home from work I nibble while I make dinner for us and the kids. I clean up and by the time I get the kids into bed I’m just too tired to do anything so I relax in front of the T.V. and sometimes have some chips and pop."

As we can see in our hypothetical example, fatigue and hydration needs to be addressed but this new statement reveals many other challenges that she can address to help her balance her weight. The seeds of potential problem solving measures and actions are contained within her own words! Possibilities she would have otherwise not considered if she had accepted her initial assessment of the situation as uncontrollable.

WHAT DO YOU WANT? Imagine, Brainstorm...and ACTION

In my practice as a Consulting Hypnotist I work one-on-one to help well people make desired changes to enable them to meet life’s challenges such as: weight management, speaking in public, smoking cessation, managing stress and decreasing anxiety and goal setting amongst other things.

In my capacity as a hypnotist I am one who first and foremost listens.

I also guide clients through the goal setting process; help them clarify their experience and gather information, stated in their own words, from which to formulate the script for the hypnosis session that follows the intake. During the hypnosis session my voice helps clients focus and guides them through their subconscious mind encouraging them to explore, be comfortable in and trust the wisdom of that inner realm. I teach clients the techniques of self-hypnosis to help them lead the life they envision for themselves and become the person they want to be.

A session begins with the question, “What do you want?” not what do others want for you but, what do you want for yourself. This seems simple enough as people generally come to me thinking that they know what their challenge and their goal is. But if you are going to move towards your goal it will take more than thinking. You will need to explore your heart’s desire; it will take imagining.

First ask yourself “What do I want?” Write it down in a simple, positive statement.

On a scale of 1 – 10, how strongly do you desire it? Any answer above 7 shows you’re your desire is strong enough for you to meet your goal with the help of hypnosis. A score of lower than 7 indicates that: you either need to ramp up your desire or, though you have a strong urge for change, you have not yet hit upon exactly what it is that you desire. Don’t despair. In either case, working with imagination will help you clarify and move towards your goals.

Now let’s try it again, only this time I give you permission to recapture that magical childhood pastime of daydreaming. As adults we often claim to be too busy to indulge in daydreams. We judge it as time wasted. Yet, how much time do we spend in front of the T.V. or watching movies allowing ourselves to become immersed in the products of the daydreams of others? Many scientific discoveries began as a daydream – an opening up to the possibility contained within “what if?”

Ask yourself, “What do I want?” and just imagine.

Allow yourself to daydream, use all of your senses in imagining as fully as you can that you have already achieved your goal. Even though you are not formally going into hypnosis with a hypnotist to guide you, by utilizing your imagination the process of self-hypnosis begins.

Imagine what achieving your goal will do for you. Another way of looking at it is to consider what kind of person you will become – if you have a role model in mind recall as fully as possible times and situations in which you admired them. What qualities exactly did you admire? Imagine yourself now possessing all the qualities that impressed you so much. Embellish the scenario further as you explore how your new self interacts with challenges and other aspects and people in your life.

Now, some people imagine by “seeing” scenes playing out in their mind’s eye; others “hear” conversations or words; some simply “feel” and there are those who just “know” without the other senses being very distinct. It is ideal if you can bring as many of your senses to the imagination process: see, hear, feel, smell and taste; but whatever your experience is, it is enough for the process of self-hypnosis to begin. It is enough to allow yourself to feel positively inspired.

Now, after the daydream session is complete answer again, “What do I want?” and before you write anything down, consider your answer.

Has your goal changed or become refined by your daydream? This is perfectly O.K. and is part of the goal setting process. Re-state and write down your goal in a simple, positive statement and re-assess the strength of your desire. Moving closer towards 10 on our scale of desire indicates you are moving in the right direction.

Next step: brainstorming…