Shhh...be still

The flu and the weather conspired to keep me from physically going anywhere
but did not deter our little neighbour Leah :-)

I am an information junkie with a voracious appetite!

I like to learn; I gather information like a squirrel. But information isn't wisdom. So I test what I've learned by applying these lessons to my own life. Direct experience is the best teacher so you might say that I am my own laboratory. Only when truths are experienced and understood do I share them with students through the workshops I facilitate. However, for body work treatments (Shiatsu, reflexology, hot stone massage and lomi) that I provide, over time the wisdom is wordlessly, magically, seamlessly, integrated.

It is both a blessing and a curse that the internet is open 24/7 and my FaceBook friends post some pretty amazing and intellectually stimulating information. Through my FaceBook connections I find inspiring posts and positive news of what's going on in the world, or at least what could be going on if we would only look outside the box.

More and more e-mail my clients arrange appointments through e-mail. Advertising is a hands on affair that I maintain through e-mail and my website. I post entries on this blog for fun and on AWAKENING CHOICE DREAMS to educate the public about dreamwork.

I am the thing that lives at the bottom of the stairs.

Fortunately for my physical health, my body has a huge need for movement and so I break away to do my yoga, go for a walk, fly, skate or kayak depending on the weather or perform some menial physical chore. But lately while engaged in these activities my mind is in overdrive. Instead of coming away refreshed I just feel busy, busy, busy.

I don't know when I slipped into multitasking as the order of the day. I watch some T.V. and do dishes or throw in a load of laundry during the, far too many and too lengthy, commercial breaks. I study Spanish or pour through hypnosis magazines during "brain candy" programs.

Restless by nature, the default of my brain and body is set for constant motion. With all this exposure to information, information itself feels like movement and incessant noise in my head.

After recording and working with my dreams, I consult the Voyage to Kanaka Makua cards each morning upon arising to ascertain the tone of the day. Over the past weeks the cards have been imploring me to return to meditation, listen to my breath, my heart, my body, be in the present, be still; NOW.

I have been paying heed and have cleared time and space to just sit and be. This has shown me that my senses have been bombarded with information to the point of overload and that my revved up brain is filled with a cacophony of urgent thoughts all clamouring for attention.

This is what silence feels like to me.
the woods at Mosswood Hollow

20 minutes of meditation a day isn't cutting it; I return to my old patterns for the rest of the day. More downsizing has been the remedy in the form of: increased visual, auditory and physical silence; decreased time on the computer and T.V. and more discriminate and limited use of my time on FB. More time for writing and reading books with actual pages.

It's so easy to get caught up in it all and in all my striving (striving for its own sake is another default state of mine) I have forgotten to just be.

Lengthier periods away from all this info/noise means, on my return, I'm greeted by an e-mail inbox spilling over with messages. Twitter and Linkedin kindly remind me that during my absence LOTS of interesting info has been zipping around cyber space that I absolutely must see. Important people everywhere are saying important things and since I probably don't want to miss any of it they kindly supply me with tid bits to tempt me to dive into the fray.

What are you missing?

Out from the silence I answer, "Nothing".

SEND A KID TO CAMP

It's been a busy few weeks at Awakening Choice.

I had the pleasure of presenting (for the my 3rd year) meditation workshops at Tim Horton's Wellness Weekend on April 16th and 17th up at the beautiful TIM HORTON'S MEMORIAL CAMP in Parry Sound.

For a reasonable fee, employees of Tim's, their families and friends escape the daily grind and go to camp one weekend each year. What really thrills me is that the proceeds from the weekend go towards the TIM HORTON'S CHILDREN'S FOUNDATION which helps economically disadvantaged kids go to camp.

Being one of 5 kids of a travelling salesman and a hard working housewife, I never did get to go to camp but knew some who did and I admit I was quite envious as I read their "I wish you were here" letters. But this I know for sure... they never had as much fun as an adult can have at camp!

There's no cooking, cleaning up or thinking about food until you have to choose from the delicious offerings laid out before you; no phones ringing at all hours of the day. Rod and I have 2 business lines at home and we don't answer calls "after hours", but, what we consider "after hours" is ambiguous at best and there's no escaping anywhere the phone's distinctive ring tone. The moment we hear it, pointer-like we freeze, stop what we're doing and listen, just in case it's important — which is subject to interpretation. So, though we don't have to answer its call, we're continually on hold.

At camp, other than my commitment to teaching, my time is my own. Ahhh, no demands; no responsibilities.


Whatever shall I do? Maybe I'll take part in dance, tackle the climbing wall, go for an eco tour, have a massage, learn soapstone carving or just hole up in my log cabin room and read or snooze, sit and chat with fellow campers by the fireplace or lay on the dock gazing at the starry night sky?

Saturday night is party night and the best dance party ever! Dozens of women (and, this year, one brave male soul) rock on to the tunes of the MUSKOKA ROADS BAND from Parry Sound. Got a request? They can play it.

Though this weekend was rainy and cold and we woke up to a blanket of snow on Sunday morning, there was more fun to be had before we loaded up in the Tim's bus for our trip home. Some people car pool it but I prefer the atmosphere of the bus. On the big bus I can read, write or watch the onboard movies. Though I'd seen it at the theatre, I took in another viewing of MORNING GLORYon the way home (check out what they do to the guy who plays Ernie Appleby - hysterical!).

To all of those meditation workshop participants (15 on Sat and 21on Sunday) snuggled into the couches, draped over chairs and splayed out on the floor, covered with blankets, their heads resting on pillows as they drifted off into relaxation with me; to the staff that provided us with such lovely accommodation and food (many of whom were once TIM'S campers themselves!); and to the people at TDL Group for again accepting my offer to present my passion THANK YOU!!!

When you're in a TIM'S drop some spare change in the DONATION box for the camp. If the kids at TIM'S camp have half as good a time as I did your donations have been well spent indeed.

Face Book "Friend"

The Dalai Lama Is a friend of mine.

Yes, you heard that right.

Actually, he's a Face Book "friend" of mine. I'm very selective as to who I allow to connect with me on FB. OK, he actually didn't ask me to be his friend but that's beside the point. Anyway...I don't play the numerous games that seem to have captured friends imaginations and I have become a FAN of exactly 2 things: Betty Blogger and Stories from the Yogic Heart. The former because it was part of a homework exercise for Betty Blogger's course and the latter because, even though my story is in it, it is a really inspiring book. I check out FB to see how my friends are doing and see the photos that they post.

It's so cool to go on to FB and see the Dalai Lama's lovely face smiling out at me announcing his entry. His latest entry was a timely one that appeared on Wed Jan 5th (entered at 5:25 in the morning no less; only THE Dalai Lama would be Face Booking at 5:25 a.m.) titled COUNTERING STRESS AND DEPRESSION. It was written on Dec 31/10 and published in the Hindustan Times, India, on Jan 3/11.

One of the many things about the article that gives me hope is his assertion that, "So long as we remember that we have this marvellous gift of human intelligence and a capacity to develop determination and use it in positive ways, we will preserve our underlying mental health."

He lost his freedom at 16, his country at 24 and has lived in exile for more than 50 years. Despite the heartbreaking news he hears from his homeland he still doesn't give up. What helps him is to cultivate the thought that (summarizing here):

• If the situation/problem can be remedied there is no need to waste your energy in worry or letting yourself become overwhelmed by it, rather spend it on seeking its solution.
• If there is no possibility for a solution or resolution; you can't do anything about it. "The sooner you accept this fact, the easier it will be for you."

But, before you can discern whether or not there is a resolution you have to:

• confront the problem
• take a realistic view

There is a famous quote that goes something like this "I've been through some really bad times in my life, a few of them actually happened." This comes to mind because more often than not it's not the actual event that causes pain but the stories we tell ourselves about it which create disturbing emotions, thoughts and mental events.

The first problem we need to confront is our compounding negative thought processes around the problem itself. Clearing the mental clutter around the problem allows for a clear, realistic view and enables us to confront the actual issue. We just have to:

Maya peeking out 

• keep on clearing out the negativities 
• while cultivating gratitude 
• and concern for others 
• and turn adversity into advantage

He believes that: 

• the mind can be transformed
• we can overcome disturbing emotions 
• and achieve a sense of inner peace

Thanks so much to the Dalai Lama for this inspiring entry!

Namaste 

Nance

You might also be interested in checking out AwakeningChoice on Twitter.

Mind Training in action

Cartoon copyright Nance Thacker 1991.
Click on image to enlarge

I have done yoga since I was 16. I've lead and presently lead and teach classes and workshops in: relaxation, stress management, meditation and hypnosis.  You'd think by now I'd be perfect...ha! This is definitely not the case as I have a particularly challenging mind and nervous system that seems drawn to bouts of depression and anxiety like a moth to a flame. And, this is precisely what makes me a good teacher. I know whereof I speak.

I observed the latest bout coming on through my TWEETS. It started subtly enough. A little awareness dawned on Dec 6th that my mind was becoming pretty busy with conflicting thoughts along with their attendant emotions. Envy followed around the 12th accompanied by that familiar feeling of self-loathing and the little voice that worms its way into my mind repeating variations on a theme: "you SHOULD: be better than you are, be more than you are, have accomplished more that you have". When these dominate I become lost in all of this S**T.

As I reclaim myself on the 14th and 15th I witness and become aware of worry, anger and other "negative" thoughts bubbling up and am able to catch the "inkling" before they develop further.

But somehow the scales tip and these negativities begin to take root, playing over and over. Samskaras (in western terms neural pathways) become entrenched in my brain; becoming my automatic default response to life. This vulnerable position ignites the "fight or flight response". I become spun, loose my centre, become hyper sensitive to the actions and emotions of my significant other and scramble in an effort to please others because I am so "beside myself" that I cannot please myself.

Without a centre no action "feels" authentic, my body, fuelled by the stress response, feels foreign. With no place to anchor me, action is without backbone, ineffective, inefficient; results are predictably erratic, unsatisfactory and sometimes chaotic and the world around me reflects my inner state.

In this state I am more susceptible to the judgements of others. In the heat of the moment tempers flare, arguments ensue, harsh words, that can never be taken back, are spoken. Arguments take on monumental proportions, consequences loom heavily in my mind as it goes into the deepest and darkest places as happened from the 19th to the 26th. Turbulent emotions rule and peak on the 28th when something commands me to STOP & BREATHE. 

In that most charged of moments I connect with calm. This is magical effect of mind training in action.

With the calm comes awareness that it is time for me to pull out, stop being the witness. I know this territory well enough. Take charge of my mind, shift focus and consciously apply mind training.

By the 31st I still feel emotions coursing through my body but my yoga asana practice delivers awareness of the still pond that resides within and it now extends beyond my time on my mat.

It is timely that I start anew with the New Year in bringing my mind training skills into practice. I don't allow the negative tapes to run. Evening mantra practice, replaces the "inner critic" and settles me into the receptive hypnogogic state where implantation is optimal. Negative self-judgment is countered by logical inquiry or silent mantra practice. Yoga practice and walking keep energy flowing evenly and discharge daily accumulated tension. I set the alarm 45 minutes before I have to get up, time in which to briefly scan my dreams and then BLAST MYSELF WITH POSITIVE SUGGESTIONS over and over during this especially receptive hypnopompic state.

I know the bout will return again. But, I also know that the calm, quiet centre resides within, all I need to do is breathe and feel the peace and tranquility.

For the New Year I wish you find access to that calm, quiet centre within.

Sweet Tweets

I have discovered the world of TWITTER and, surprisingly, I have discovered that I enjoy TWEETING. I like the economy of trying to get my point across in 144 characters or less. Being a lover of micro-fiction (you may recall my READERS' DIGEST REJECTS series) you can see why it would appeal to me.

The question TWITTER asks is, "What is happening?" Well, frankly I can't see anyone being interested in what I'm doing as I'm an average gal doing what most of us are doing most of the time. Who needs more of that? I've found instead that I tweet from the perspective of the observer regarding meditations, realizations experiences and challenges of the moment. I guess I could call it a mind tweet as I comment on thoughts, spiritual and philosophical inquiry, reflections and expression.

They are a little cryptic, that's for sure as my sister-in-law asked me (on FaceBook) what I was so angry about today and I had to explain that I, in fact, wasn't angry but was exploring anger.

Because, you see, today I tweeted about anger. My goal was not to be angry for today. And, as all meditators know, when that is your goal what arises is awareness of the beginnings of anger. I'm not talking about full fledged pissed-offedness (wow I didn't know that pissed-offedness was a word, spell check accepted it...) but the minor little nigglings, inklings or signs of irritation, feeling pressured, rushed or, my special tell tale signs of frustration (a first stage of anger for me): beginning to speed up in action, thought or speech.

That moment in which I catch the "inklings" provides the distance needed to detach and then choose to let it go. And so what is meant to be a transitory flashing off of thought or emotion becomes just that as I watch it arise, label it and let it go, leaving a clean slate behind.

To see what I'm writing about check out my TWITTER site at AwakeningChoice

TO BE OR NOT TO BE

A friend agitatedly blurted out that she had difficulty with the concept of "choice".  I realized that I had used the word "choice" quite a bit during our conversation. Obviously since the word is included in the name of my hypnosis business AWAKENING CHOICE (which is also the name of this blog), the concept of choice is a biggie for me.

Though she expressed a desire to change her life, my friend was depressed, stuck, lacking in the energy and motivation needed to initiate action of any kind in order to change her situation. Though our situations differ, I too have felt like her; probably many of you have too. Energy suckers such as (and please feel free to add your personal faves): inertia, self-doubt, regret or longing for the past, holding on to past dramas or traumas, fear or a sense of hopelessness about the future, clinging to labels assigned to one's self by self or others, peer pressure to remain within defined confines, what will others think, who do you think you are, leave one feeling like a powerless victim.

When we have been a "victim" of a crime or a vicious act the responses listed above are amplified, seem insurmountable and the challenges appear far greater. The reality is that the human spirit is resilient. We've all witnessed inspiring examples of resilience. If one person can rise above such a situation so can we all. We have the capacity to heal ourselves and our relationships. Living in a human body subjects us to challenges, illness and loss during our life and guarantees that we will die but suffering is optional — just ask the Dali Lama.

What she couldn't see is that we make choices (consciously or unconsciously) every second of every day. When we say that we don't have choice we're really saying that we aren't conscious of the act of choosing, because we actually are choosing at every moment. Don't believe me? You are right now choosing whether to continue reading this post or to do something else.

When we become more consciously aware of our thoughts, feelings, emotions, beliefs, and sensations we are living in the present moment and the presence of choice becomes more evident. In this moment there is no past, no her/his story; in this moment there is no future. Without our story, life is full of potential.

When I begin to realize that I have the resources within me to enable me to choose a different action, feeling or belief, no matter how small, that opens up unforeseen possibilities and sets the stage for transformation. The moment I exercise that option it is like a droplet sending ripples through the stagnant pond which my life has become. These ripples become waves of change in relationship within and ultimately between me and the people and world in which I live. This reality can be pretty daunting and can stall me before I begin. It may feel easier to stay in the status quo, after all what choice do I have? 

In accepting the concept of choice I take responsibility for my actions, their consequences and my life.
Each time I consciously exercise my ability to choose I am actively participating and engaged in life. I become energized. Struggles become transformed into challenges. I recapture my love of life, see it as precious and realize that I am entitled to be happy and enjoy it; and gratitude flows.

For me the ultimate belief about choice is that we are all in this together, a consciousness evolving that has chosen to experience this earthly existence through many, many lives and lifetimes. We are all one.