Sunday, April 8, 2012

From Uuugh to Ahhh

Uuugh, that was one of those dreams I'd rather forget! 

You know the kind. Filled with frustration, missed connections, rapidly changing scenarios littered with events gone wild and threateningly dark characters. Everything seems out of my control leaving me feeling lost and out of sorts upon awakening.

I lay there in a stupor. This type of energy rises up in you this time of the year; EVERY DAMN YEAR. You shouldn't be so surprised, I told myself reassuringly. My mind had raced ahead and was throwing in the towel to all my hopes and dreams. When this mood settles upon me like a weighted black robe its darkness envelopes me making it near to impossible to see and feel the light. I'm in limbo, unable to get a clear view of my surroundings, let alone envision a future of my own choosing. A future which just a few days ago seemed full of adventure and promise.

I'm not going to record this dream. I'd rather forget it. What's the point. It's all so depressing. I tossed back the duvet, sat up in bed and was just about to step onto the floor...

Don't be such a wimp. At least write down a title and maybe a little summary; no biggie. What can it hurt?

I gather up my journal and pen and lay back snuggling into the dreaming posture from which I'd awakened just moments before. 

TITLE: I've lost my ID and my money.
FEELING: upon awakening - lost, out of control, out of sorts.
FEELING: in the dream...Wait! Was I really lost? I didn't lose my ID or my money I actually got them back...
Before you know it a full dream recording and re-entry took form.

- I'm participating in a course where there's been some dissatisfaction amongst the participants. Things haven't been brought to resolution as expected during the last few days.
- As we are disbanding I see a folk dance line forming. With hands linked they snake their way through the crowd. I hear the music and know the steps to this Greek dance and decide to join in. I tuck my ID and the leather money folder under my black windbreaker and leave it on a chair. I have some reservations but I think it should be OK.
- The leader is speaking in a foreign language, there is a woman between us so I can't quite see the steps and I'm making mistakes which affects the whole line. A friend's husband takes the woman's place. I feel much better about this as he knows what he's doing.
- I'm in a car driven by a friend. She's taking me and the workshop leader to the airport, but I realize I don't have my ID or money and have to go back. She's not offering to take me so I get out and take a bus to Sheridan College where I hope to go to their lost and found department.
- But, I realize that I know where my stuff is and this realization transports me there which is not Sheridan after all but a park setting.
- I see a bunch of shadowy types mulling around my stuff. One of them is sitting on the chair and beginning to take the money out when I say, pleadingly, tearfully, "This is my stuff. Please give it back to me. You have no idea how much I need it". He's moved by my plea and gives everything back to me. One of the shadowy types says, "How do we know it's yours." I know this is a ploy to get the stuff back so I hold it closer to my body. I KNOW WHO I AM AND I DON'T HAVE TO PROVE IT TO ANYBODY!  I keep talking over him as I walk away thanking the other man.
- I'm in my car now being directed to a detour lane by a traffic cop. Cars move slowly in single-file on a winding ramp lane. He's looking me in the eye and waving a flag commanding that I move to my left. But I don't want to go there...

This is where I woke up frustrated at being commanded to go somewhere I don't want to go. I remain in the dream this time and ask Do I have any options?

YES. I pull my gaze away from the cop. To my right is a freeway where cars are moving along quickly and directly to the destination of their choice. The ramp to my left would get me there eventually but it would be a slow and tedious process and traffic is backed up. I have choice, the cop is just trying to get me to make one so that the traffic can flow. I feel greatly relieved as I pull on to the freeway and come up to full speed merging with the traffic.

Ahhh, I emerge from the re-entry refreshed with renewed optimism and energy.

There were a lot of elements in the dream that related to past event happenings and to possible future ones. One warning I take from the dream is to keep a head's up on my ID and money during future travels and especially not to be too casual with them when I find myself distracted by social situations.

I believe that my day was vastly improved as a result of this dream work/re-entry. My initial feelings upon waking were misplaced due to the emphasis I'd put on losing my ID and money rather than on the fact that I'd recovered them. As a result a defeatist attitude prevailed. Had I left the dream unresolved the sense of dissatisfaction, being at a loss and out of sorts would have plagued me throughout the day and sapped my energy. The fact that my emphasis changed upon re-entry and that I completed the action at the end of the dream turned a negative almost nightmarish dream to one of inspiration and liberation.


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