Friday, January 28, 2011

play by play analysis of a "stupid" day

I thought that I was having a "bad" day yesterday. But, I decided to check it out to see if in fact this was so. Here is a play by play account of the events that transpired and my analysis of the day.

:) This is a good thing = +1 point
:D This is a really good thing = +5 points
:-D laughing - 10 points
:'-) happy crying — priceless

:( This is not a good thing = -1 point

:0 A sense of awe
%-( confusion
=-O"Uh - oh"
;-(  "WTF"
$%&#$%(&*#^#%^ swearing aloud
#^#&^&$*&^%^$$ swearing silently
:-@ scream
:@ Exclamation "What???"
")(" shaking oneself violently with or without jumping about as if trying to shake water off one's body
It's...well I don't know just what time it was when I was rudely awoken, not once but five times, by the sounds of my FLIPPY & MAYA barfing  :(  :(  :(  :(  :( 

Oddly enough I can tell exactly which one is barfing and get a general location of the barfee and therefore the barf.  :)  :) 

I can feel Rod laying in bed as I am, as still as possible, in the hopes that the other will get out of bed first and have to deal with it. The long wait is on, each conscious of the other.
Rod had picked up his supplies the previous night and was sleeping in  :(
I was getting up earlier than normal to meet with Candy and go for a walk.  :(  :)

I have my socks on  :)
Slithering on my belly like a Marine on a mission I am able to locate all 5 barf-land mines WITHOUT walking through them :)  :)  :)  :)  :)

Maya had horked up 1 gigantic furball (picture her without eyes or legs and you have just about the size of the furball that Tiny Perfection can project forth)  :0 (equals  :)

Flippy aka Poopy Butt Girl doesn't spew forth anything but gloppy white slime  :(
Which means explosive diarrhea will be forthcoming  :(
Which means I'll have to cover my duvet (her kitty box of choice when she's percolating) with plastic  :(  
Which means days of vigilance ahead  :(

Maya looks relieved   :)
Flips belly feels bloated  :(

TALLY - 12 :(   11 :)  TOTAL = -1

Lost in thought as I drive along the QEW I see the right lane veering away from me and at that very moment I realize that I've missed my cut off  $$&^&*%&   :(

I know how to get back :)

On the return approach I'm not sure what the name of the exit is as I go by terrain and not signs. I get sucked into the Bermuda Triangle that Burlington Street exit (the same one that got me in this predicament in the first place) has become $%*%&&*&* ")(" :(

I know a different and more scenic way to get back :)  :) (I like scenery)

Though I am 30 minutes late Candy can still go for our walk, and we have a lovely one, the day is warm, she's brought some peanuts for con artist squirrels and we visit a lovely tree  :)  :)  :)  :)  :)

TALLY - 2 :(   8 :) TOTAL = + 6
I am visiting my nursing home client later that afternoon  :)

My hot stone client wants to come 30 minutes early; it's a squeeze getting back in time but reluctantly I agree - I'm feeling pressured  :(

The stuff I've gotten out of the car doesn't include my keys, phone, or money all of which I've locked inside #%^&$$^*&**&  ")(" :( :( :(  

Oh well, I'll deal with it later - able to shift to positive state  :)

Session with my client is lovely & she is over the flu  :)  :)

Staff offers use of their phone and I can remember phone numbers of my brother and a friend  :)  :)  :) 

I have difficulty dialing out, need the help of staff member (not once, but 3 times, the last time she gives me a consoling pat on the back), I feel like a looser after all I'm the stress management specialist  :(  :(  :(  ;-(

My friend comes to the rescue, we call the CAA, go to her brother's to wait it out  :)  :)  :)

I realize I wont be back on time for the appointment  :(

I call my client's place of work, "Yes, she's here" says the guy on the phone  :)
No, she's not  :(
I have to call back and ask him for her cel #.  Before he'll give it out he asks, "How many daughters does she have?. (this is a good thing for security reasons and I agree with him)  $%^&*$^*$*  ")("

but...I'm sure it is 2 but if I'm not right he won't give me the number. Damn, what is the name of the daughter that I know? For the life of me I can't pull it out as it's one of those names in which the given and surname are interchangeable and her surname is different form her Mom.   :(  :(

I repeat my name and what I do. He's heard of me. He gives me her number.   :)   :) (bonus - it's nice to be recognized)

She answers, is disappointed, and "by the way I have a bladder infection"  :)  :(  :(

I can't treat someone in the early stages of a bladder infection so it's a good thing that I couldn't get home in time as she'd have come all the way out only to be refused treatment.  :)  :)  :)  :)

I visit with my friend and her brother while we enjoy rum infused home made egg nogg :)  :)  :)  :D

Later we watch the CAA guy jimmy the door  :)

I tip him the only money I have, which amounts to... 65 cents =-O ...I'm such a looser   :(

TALLY - 14 :(   27 :) TOTAL = + 13
Making the best of the situation I go to Shopper's Drug Mart with my friend.  :) 

Getting out of the car I realize that I don't have my glasses @#$%^@^^@  ")("  :-@ ")("  $%^#%&$^$&#%  :(

We decide to deal with this after we shop but I'm obsessed and become laden with tics (like a dog trying to shake off water after a long, long swim) that arise spontaneously at the thought of having to retrace my steps or worse go back to the nursing home where things have legs and walk away @$^##%^#$^#  ")("  :(  :(  :(

It's seniour's day.  Am I really that old? :@  ")("  :)  :(

After my friend's purchases are rung in she gets not only the seniour's discount but also a coupon for $10 as she's spent over $60. She really wanted the coupon and tried hard to get it.  :)   :)  :)

He then tells us that you have to be 60 to get seniour's discount, but we're not. Having already given her the discount he gives me one too.   :(   :)

I have purchased over $60 without even trying. I get a coupon  ;-(   :)

TALLY - 6 :(   7 :) TOTAL = +1

My friend decides to leave me to do the hunt on my own  :)  :)  (wise decision for us both)

They are not in her car, or mine, or the parking lot (a frail old couple approaches  %-(  as I'm crouched down snooping around their car which is parked in the same space mine had occupied  :(  :(  :(  :(

Upon leaving them I pat down my pockets again. Realizing I have an inside pocket in the inner jacket I dig in, deep down and lo and behold there they are!  But I feel like an idiot  :D  :(

TALLY - 5 :(   7 :) TOTAL = + 2

I drive home at my leisure with my glasses on so I am pleasantly aware of oncoming traffic, stop signs and the like   :)  :) 

I don my PJ's and rather than curl up into a little ball (my first inclination) Rod and I eat toasted bacon bagel sandwiches while we watch 3rd season of Boston Legal episodes 17 & 18. Our faith is restored in a previously great show that had suffered horrible writing for the previous episodes of that season   :)  :)  :)  :)  :D

I indulge, further obliterating the woes of the day, in watching 30 ROCK & OUTSOURCED  :-D  :D

TALLY - 0 :(   21 :) TOTAL = + 21

However, it may only be a matter of time  :(


TALLY - 1 :(   5 :) TOTAL = + 4
40 :(  to  86 :)  = + 46
Wow, my experience of "this is a good thing" things was way more than my "this is not a good thing" things; not bad.

And so, we bid adieu to — not the bad day I originally thought I was having — but, merely a "stupid" one.

May your days be fantastic, fabulous, great or at least good. And, if they can't be any of those may they merely be "stupid" but not bad.

No comments:

Post a Comment