“That’s true,” I agreed.
But actually that’s a lie. Most of my stuff is controlled; corralled into closets, boxes, bins, and the laundry room – behind closed doors where no one dares to tread.
I’m finding that traces of clutter hide everywhere. It sneaks into crevices and ignored spaces when I’m not looking, which challenges my father’s words of wisdom (said in the most encouraging, authoritarian voice he could muster) “they didn’t just sprout legs and walk off somewhere.”
Apparently they do.
If the 3 lipsticks that I threw out last week were children, they’d be going through puberty right now; obsessing over boys and their weight. I understand that you should replace old cosmetics every few months; some crazy notion about makeup being a breeding ground for bacteria.
Pffft, ya right; a marketer’s ploy more like! My 3 yr old mascara has caused me no problems at all. I’ve used it about 12 times, like King Tutt it’s been virtually hermetically sealed.
Just a few months ago, in the interest of keeping my environment, as well as my face, fresh, I decided serious culling action was needed and I went at ‘er.
My makeup routine is a no brainer – lipstick, blush (cream and gel), and concealer. When I get real fancy, mascara, eyeliner and eye shadow get added to the mix. You’d think there wouldn’t be a lot to throw out. You’d think. Especially since makeup is not high up on my must have list.
I read women’s magazines in the check out line and at my hairdresser’s. The ads for makeup are so compelling and the pictures so convincing, aren’t they? Buy, buy, buy that latest age defying cream, the eye shadow that magically opens up your eyes, the eyeliner that gets rid of those red rims you’ve been genetically programmed for, or the mascara that creates lashes so full and long that Brooke Shields would be envious.
Each item I’ve bought has been tested and added to the bathroom shelf with my intention to make more effort in the appearance department but inevitably they've just gathered dust. Each new (new being a relative term) beautifier was a duplicate in terms of colour or function of the previous one.
Compared to most women, I don’t have a lot of makeup (this thought is the mine field rationalization that enables one to pull out the magic, plastic card), it’s just that I store it away for that “big night out”. And, when that night comes, what do I do? I put on my best jeans, shirt and earrings in lieu of cosmetics because, for one - its easier to slip on a pair of earrings than it is to paint myself beautiful, and two - it’s kind of like slight of hand – no, don’t look at her face, look over here, here at the pretty, shiny, sparkly things. In the looking good department distraction is my number one ploy.
What am I to do, my motto (a la Billy Crystal’s Fernando) is, “it’s better to feel good than to look good.” Pam (council member and style maven) proves that it is possible to feel good and look good at the same time, but alright I admit it, I’m too damn lazy, O.K.
So, lots has gone in the bin, but there’s that lovely professional quality powder brush that I can’t get rid of even though powder sinks into all the creases in my face freezing them there for posterity and for all to see. So, even though I’ve given up on powder long ago, the beautiful brush remains on my shelf; a taunting symbol of my youth gone by and reminder of purchases I’ll never make again.
What you don't see on the counter anymore is: Bobbi Brown cream blush (which you can use on your eyelids or mouth too) in little pot - bought when I was in Vegas is about 5 years old. Smashbox O-gloss (lip gloss), Smashbox O-glow (gel blush) and Yves Saint Laurent touche (don't know how to make that thingy on top of the e) eclat highlighter (which I use as a concealer) - 3 years old, at least. Sad, isn't it?